I was invited by an explorers club to hold a speech at their headquarters in Cairo. The club was a bunch of old rich people who had never been outside in remote parts of the world in their entire life. They thought of them as really important and me as just some background noise. I threw a chair in the middle of the room, the room went quiet, I stood on the chair said my speech, and went on to leave. The majority of the wannabe explorers there then wanted to talk to me, but I knew I did not belong there. I left and on my way back to my hotel I got stabbed by a bunch of teenagers who awkwardly tried to rob me. Back in the hotel, the food poisoning hit me. As you can see the life of an explorer isn't all glory and adventures. Sometimes it's just a shitty week on the Loo.